Illusionist Of Profits T-Shirts

Since this is a smoke-free building, we'll have to fool the shareholders with mirrors alone.

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

Magic Tricks

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Juggler and Illusionist

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"Mom, that magic kit you got me for my birthday, we may have a problem."

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

"I can't understand it, we did quite well in the first three quarters.

'No sniffing.'

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

"A good quarter is a joy forever."

Propping up a profits chart.

Magic Act

'I brought Simmons here on board to use his powers of levitation on our customer intelligence.'

The real trick here for Ramon was to somehow just make this look as if it's all part of the show...

"Just once, when you bring me a bouquet of flowers can you not pull it from your sleeve?!"

"In the hat! In the hat!"

'Not here, Fred.'

"I give you the seven-billion dollar pup, then you give me back the seven-billion-dollar pup."

David Blaine, Age 60

"R&D really created a miracle drug this time...at least it's been miraculous for our bottom line!"

"This data shows us that we are going up to a new level."