Productivity Illusionist T-Shirts

Look at me multitasking. I'm shooting the breeze, checking invoices and drinking coffee.

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"Gentleman I believe I've found a revolutionary new way for us to more productively waste our lives."

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

Targets.

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

'If people who have sudden ideas really had light bulbs over their heads, it would be very dark in here.'

'I brought Simmons here on board to use his powers of levitation on our customer intelligence.'

I came in early to seize the day...but it seized me first.

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."

'This spider's web proves that you've done no work today!'

Efficiency Expert: Back at 3:17:03

"That must be the new 'sit-work' desk."

Man being fed 'Get up and Go' on a drip.

"I've found if I squint my eyes and frown, it looks like I'm concentrating rather than sleeping.".

How to boost your work output...

'Actually, I haven't done any work for a month due to technical difficulties.'

"We've increased job satisfaction. Now let's focus on productivity."

Department of Productivity: Caution - High Speed Revolving Door.

"How many work in my department? On a good day probably about half."

'We're hoping to employ a workaholic for whom job-satisfaction is reward enough.'

Since this is a smoke-free building, we'll have to fool the shareholders with mirrors alone.

"I feel like I got a lot accomplished today."

'I remember when it used to say THINK.'

"You'd be more productive if this was plugged in."

"Unsticky notes test #17 success!"

"At least TRY to look as busy as a bee!"

"The fact is, Bob, your amazing ability to focus on problems like a laser beam is freaking out everybody in the company!"

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'