Productivity Purist T-Shirts

"And another thing, stop sending me e-mails."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

Motivation to work

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

"Gentleman I believe I've found a revolutionary new way for us to more productively waste our lives."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

'We need to have a shake-up!'

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

"Ok, so you got the worm. What are you going to do with the rest of your day?"

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

Targets.

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

Experience-Productivity Ratio / Age-Salary Ratio.

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

'I'm sorry you had to wait. My Time Management Workshop started late.'

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'