Illumination Experimenter T-Shirts

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

"Young Frankenstein"

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Jazz is Invented

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

Miami Mice

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

The Soundness of Newton's Laws

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

"Are you sure you're not just teaching to the test?"

Cursing Scientist.

Science Project: Monkey See, Monkey Do.

Edison: The Father also of Static Electricity

No other lab did as cutting edge research using lab rats as test subjects as McWit Lab.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Esq.

"Sure we'll get in trouble, but our science grades will make up for it."

Professor...what are you doing?

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

"Frankly, I don't really want him to improve: he scares the predators away..."

'You will tell me if you have any doubts about my formulae, won't you?'

Fred began to understand why this kit house was so cheap.

'Anyway, you look wonderful. Mind if I ask who does your lighting?'

'...then add some of the yellow powder to those blue crystals, heat it for a while, and see how you like it.'

"We're making progress."

"Great. First our funding ran out, now the rat."

Wishing Well

'It's exploded! The wizard warned him to break it in gently.'

'While my guitar gently creeks.'

Idea/Theory

Rudolph goes green (with his new compact fluorescent nose)