Iliad Fan Gifts

"They say not to look a gifthorse in the mouth so this looks okay to me, Sarge."

"We're following Carrot Top."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

The Da Vinci Cod

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

"I've told you kids - that's not a toy!"

"You're supposed to grow a lot of little ones."

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

You're my Venus

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

"They're home...the party's over!"

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

Christmas on Other Planets.

'Yes, I love you, but my family would disown me if I cross-pollinated with a weed, so our relationship must end.'

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

"When we asked you to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michaelangelo, we were hoping you'd snazz it up."

"So, how's your other half?"

"Go ahead, it’ll put fur on your chest."

'You're looking in the wrong section.'

Pyramids exploding.

"Where do you see yourself in five light-years?"

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

Ancient Greek setting. Man at desk writing on scroll says: 'Yes, they're draconian measures ??" but then, I am Draco.'

Rembrandt's Selfies

'It seems a lot of trouble to go through just to sharpen a razor blade.'

"I'm not loitering officer, I 'm waiting for the next renaissance!"

"If you give me a penny for my thoughts, and I put my two cents in, I'll still be short a penny."

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

Atlasyphus.

"Another selfie, Rembrandt?"