Iliad Fan T-Shirts

"They say not to look a gifthorse in the mouth so this looks okay to me, Sarge."

"We're following Carrot Top."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

The Da Vinci Cod

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

"You're supposed to grow a lot of little ones."

"I've told you kids - that's not a toy!"

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

You're my Venus

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

"They're home...the party's over!"

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

'Yes, I love you, but my family would disown me if I cross-pollinated with a weed, so our relationship must end.'

'You're looking in the wrong section.'

"So, how's your other half?"

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

"Where do you see yourself in five light-years?"

"Go ahead, it’ll put fur on your chest."

Pyramids exploding.

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

Ancient Greek setting. Man at desk writing on scroll says: 'Yes, they're draconian measures ??" but then, I am Draco.'

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

Rembrandt's Selfies

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.

Atlasyphus.

'It seems a lot of trouble to go through just to sharpen a razor blade.'

"If you give me a penny for my thoughts, and I put my two cents in, I'll still be short a penny."

"I'm not loitering officer, I 'm waiting for the next renaissance!"