Idiom Fan T-Shirts

"What did I say about putting all your eggs in one basket?"

"Just one I'd like to bark up the right tree."

"Go ahead, it’ll put fur on your chest."

Smoking Gum

"If you give me a penny for my thoughts, and I put my two cents in, I'll still be short a penny."

"They're home...the party's over!"

"Jack is becoming tough, adventurous, and independent. I put it down to my throwing him out with the bathwater."

"I'll be danged. I guess a straw really can do that."

"Wow! - Someone is definitely talking about you mate!"

"TO be honest - I'd rather be in the living room."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

Sauce for the Goose

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

"Nuts to you, too."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

The devil you know and his plus one

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

Another day in the Splenda mines

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'