Identity Recognition Pillows

'No, it's not my diploma. I dropped out. It's my birth certificate.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

Batman - Face ID

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

Honorable mention in science: the Nobel surprise.

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

'I'll have to keep my name after we're married.'

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

"They finally gave me the employee of the month award, but it kind of loses its meaning when every single other employee has already gotten it five times."

Britain sinking and losing it's identity.

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"Nobody wants to steal my identity."

"You knew I was straight when you married me."

"I'm tired of being the cockroach you want me to be and not the cockroach I want to be."

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

"'Dear Mrs. Zeus?!' The name's Hera!"

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'

'Who am I?'