Identity Recognition Gifts

'No, it's not my diploma. I dropped out. It's my birth certificate.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

Christopher Isherwood

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

Batman - Face ID

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

'I'll have to keep my name after we're married.'

Honorable mention in science: the Nobel surprise.

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

Britain sinking and losing it's identity.

"They finally gave me the employee of the month award, but it kind of loses its meaning when every single other employee has already gotten it five times."

"You knew I was straight when you married me."

"Nobody wants to steal my identity."

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

Secret Identity Theft.

"The best advice I can give you is: 'Be Yourself.'"

"Feeling like a skinny person living in a fat person's body is actually quite normal."

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

"I'm tired of being the cockroach you want me to be and not the cockroach I want to be."

"The floor is now open for discussion of what to name ou generation."

"'Dear Mrs. Zeus?!' The name's Hera!"

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

Cybervegan Caf

'Are you having this identity crisis because you current identity sucks?'

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'