Identity Rebrander Gifts

"I used to be 'Unemployed Larry." But no more! Now I am 'Citizen Larry,' and over the next few months I will seek the bright light and open spaces of this beautiful country and ask for the wise counsel of its people."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

'The kids want a new motto: instead of 'slow but sure' they've come up with 'fast and funky'.'

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

"Well, Mr. Shoddy, if we were to approve your business loan, you'd really need to change the name of your company."

"I'm not worried about identity theft. Who'd want to be me?"

Guys looks in the mirror and sees himself as a prisoner.

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

Congratulations!

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

"I'm tired of being openly gay.I'm seriously considering going back in to the closet."

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

Columbus discovers ... his feminine side.

"You're starting to look like your old self again."

“This daily metamorphosis never fails to amaze me. Around the house, I’m a perfect idiot. I come to court, futon a black robe, and, by God, I’m it!”

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.