Identity Rebrander Pillows

"I used to be 'Unemployed Larry." But no more! Now I am 'Citizen Larry,' and over the next few months I will seek the bright light and open spaces of this beautiful country and ask for the wise counsel of its people."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

'The kids want a new motto: instead of 'slow but sure' they've come up with 'fast and funky'.'

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

"Well, Mr. Shoddy, if we were to approve your business loan, you'd really need to change the name of your company."

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

Congratulations!

"I'm not worried about identity theft. Who'd want to be me?"

Guys looks in the mirror and sees himself as a prisoner.

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

Phone. Oh, no! My Clark Kent clothes are gone! Secret Identity Theft.

"Try thinking like a different brand."

"I'm tired of being openly gay.I'm seriously considering going back in to the closet."

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

"He, Igor? Who are we to play God with its gender pronouns?"

"I was born into the wrong color. I'm not pink, Oh, doc, I'm so depressed..."

'I'm Anna Nicole Smith. But not THE Anna Nicole Smith!'

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

"You're starting to look like your old self again."

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

Columbus discovers ... his feminine side.

“This daily metamorphosis never fails to amaze me. Around the house, I’m a perfect idiot. I come to court, futon a black robe, and, by God, I’m it!”