Identity Management Pillows

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

'I'll have to keep my name after we're married.'

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

Britain sinking and losing it's identity.

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"To whom am I speaking? Your real personality or the one you have online?"

"You knew I was straight when you married me."

"Nobody wants to steal my identity."

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

"'Dear Mrs. Zeus?!' The name's Hera!"

'Damn, I've forgotten my real name.'

"I'm tired of being the cockroach you want me to be and not the cockroach I want to be."

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

"Now I have to change my dog's name so I can remember my new password."

"Will you be keeping your own name or rebranding?"

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

"Of course I have an imaginary alter-ego. You'll find it on Facebook."