Identity Management Gifts

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

'I'll have to keep my name after we're married.'

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

'When I googled myself, and nothing came up, I began to question my own existence!'

Britain sinking and losing it's identity.

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"You knew I was straight when you married me."

Randy – you're a male stripper! Senor Stud, ma'am. Don't be a dope. I know it's you. You have me confused with someone else. So this is how you make your money. Does Rudy know? Rudy? I do find the dumb act very sexy. Senor Stud is a Ph.D. In love.

"Nobody wants to steal my identity."

"To whom am I speaking? Your real personality or the one you have online?"

Secret Identity Theft.

"The best advice I can give you is: 'Be Yourself.'"

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

"I'm tired of being the cockroach you want me to be and not the cockroach I want to be."

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

"'Dear Mrs. Zeus?!' The name's Hera!"

'Damn, I've forgotten my real name.'

"The floor is now open for discussion of what to name ou generation."

"I'll tell you my gender if you tell me yours."

"Now I have to change my dog's name so I can remember my new password."

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

'Kenny,your mother and I have decided it's time you knew the truth - you're adopted.'

"Will you be keeping your own name or rebranding?"