Identity Crisis Comedian Pillows

'Now now -- the fact that no one has stolen your identity doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it.'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"I'm Rapunzel. You want Juliet – next tower over."

'George! This way quick!'

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

"Someone has stolen my identity crisis."

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

'Sunday in the park'

'Just hold on! Screaming never solved anything.'

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

How will this impact me?

In case of fake news about a phony emergency ring false alarm.

"I've got my Facebook, Instagram, TikTok accounts, but where is the real me?"

'I don't know who I am anymore.'

Jetsgo out of business.

"Listen up - today is the first day in the rest of the coronavirus crisis!"

Cybervegan Caf

The Mr. Bates we know and love isn't in but you may speak with his doppelganger.

'I kept wondering for years...am I red with white stripes or white with red stripes? I became so mixed up. Now, look at me.'

"That's a relief - I thought you said crisis meeting..."

Whale Pattern Balding

'Are you having this identity crisis because you current identity sucks?'

"I always put things off until the last minute."

2020 Panic Room

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

Bear Market.

'It's bad news I'm afraid,we're asprins'

"Meow."

'If the global economy goes bust, there's a middle east war, and ocean levels rise. . .our 'Armageddon fund' will do just fine.'

"This doesn't feel right..."

'You got the wrong guy. I'm not a guru, I'm a consultant.'