Iconic Investor Pillows

'I made big bucks in the 70s, invested well and now I'm living it large.'

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

'...But the good news is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"I invested in Chinese stocks just because of my ironic sense of humor - if it goes wrong, I can't even afford a bowl of Chop Suey!"

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

Markets and Marketabilityby Jane Austen

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

"We'd like to take a majority position in your poetry."

'The action next week is going to be in bird seed, but if you quote me, I'll deny I said it.'

'Eddie, you've tried aggressive growth, multicaps, small caps, blue chips...now maybe it's time to try a support group for underperforming portfolios?'

'I wonder if I can increase its range?'

'Thank goodness we don't need profits in order to make piles of money.'

I was more a financial magician myself. I could make money disappear very easily.

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

"So you're an investor who dabbles in art? I happen to be an artist who dabbles in money."

"I recommend that you dump the tech stocks and go into acorns."

'A penny saved is a penny not stimulating the economy.'

'I believe in Santa Claus, and I believe in the guaranteed annual 10% return.'

'I'm beginning to worry -- everything I've got is tied up in investment newsletters!'

"It's your cat broker, Madame - he has a hot tip on a Siamese."

"It would appear that our 'rainy day investment fund' hasn't even yielded enough to buy us an umbrella each."

'I can't take all the credit. My childhood imaginary friend picked a lot of my stocks.'

Investor loses shirt in Eurozone meltdown.

'Good news! The stock market is about to explode upwards on...'

"Well, that's not a good market indicator."

"I want to switch all my municipal bonds into stocks, my stocks into T-bill and my T-bills into municipal bonds."

'This is better than magic beans, Jack. It's stock in the company that makes the magic beans.'