Hypochondria Warrior Pillows

Providing Healthcare For All

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

"Apparently reading about cancer can give you cancer!"

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

Stay away from Pigs.

'I'm convinced I've got page 68 of my medical dictionary, doctor!'

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

'The part of your brain you used to diagnose what is wrong with you is what is wrong with you.'

"I looked up your rash online. Have you recently been to one of the moons of Saturn? Or, it could just be poison ivy."

'There's nothing wrong with you that a couple placebos won't cure.'

"Trust me, Doc, it's quicker if I tell you what doesn't hurt."

'Oh my god... oh my god...'

"In my expert medical opinion, you are suffering from hypochondria."

Type A Flu.

"O.K. Which one of you worried well is the most worried?"

"Good news and bad. You do not have hypochondria."

'Well, you are one lucky hypochondriac. There's a generic placebo for your condition.'

'It's only hypochondria, but it's a very virulent FORM of it.'

How to Keep the Doctors Guessing

"You're in excellent health...until we can prove otherwise."

Health MOTs will attract 'worried well'.

"The doctor says I have something called 'hypochondria'...and it's very hard to cure!"

"Uh-oh. . . Paper-cut!"

"Hypochondriac's Handbook. Where was I?"

'Nothing too serious, I think, but better safe than sorry.' 'PLAGUE!! PLAGUE!!'

"I've no idea where they are - maybe they're all ill."

"Yesss, I've cured many cases of hypochondria with a hypodermic."

"Just as I thought Brian... Cybercondria."

"I think I've got analysis paralysis."

'Good thing you came in. Most men just ignore the warning signs.'