Hygiene Pillows

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

You really need to be careful about touching your face."

"Wait – did you wash your hands?"

Hand sanitizer

The Cougher

Miscommunication

'Patients! They whine about MRSA, then they moan about our ward disinfecting regime. There really is no pleasing them.'

'I must be growing up. I've caught myself washing my hands without being told to.'

"To play it safe, I've stopped shaking hands and hugging."

'Mom, why can't I wash my own hands?'

"Be honest with me. Do I have bad breath?"

At the health spa: "Where's the washroom? I need to detoxify."

'That should do it. We'll see you in six months for your next cleaning.'

Sweeping under the carpet

'I've changed my mind about becoming a doctor. . . you have to wash your hands too often!'

Lather, rinse, dry, style, get dressed, go to work,come home, eat dinner, go to bed, wake up, repeat.

This toilet is thoroughly cleaned once a week. Sadly it's tomorrow.

MRSA Risk.

In the interests of hygiene, please use the tongs provided

'How did you know I didn't wash my hands?'

"Will these hands ne'er be clean?"

Employees must wash hands.

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

Fresh Squeezed Sanitizer

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Can too much hygiene create allergies?

Nurse standing over difficult patient with syringe with 'tres difficile'.

"Anybody here know where the washrooms are?"

'You can't come into the clean room looking like that.'

'I only sneezed because I have hay fever.'

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

"Sounds like an obsessive-compulsive disorder. Normal people don't spend that much time washing their hands."

'I'm gonna go.... Where no cow has gone before!'

Cold and flu season: Shoot. Now I've gotta go wash my hands.