Hygiene Buff Pillows

Miscommunication

"What the...some jerk licked the salt off all these pretzels."

'Say, when did you last cut your toenails?'

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

Hand Sanitizer - Alcohol Content

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"I'm going to get you fired."

Whack-a-molecule

"We'll get there when we get there!"

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

The new global mantra flag for the future

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

Flan-eating bacteria

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...

"No Hand Sanitiser"

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

'My dentist recommended it.'

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Wall Street...

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'