Hump Day Humor Lover Gifts

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Larry's used art

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Grace For Flies

Police Feline Unit

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Why do they do that?"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'