Humorous Homesteader Gifts

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

Pest Control

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

A Tongue Stud.

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

The bulb family leaves for vacation

"You've got termites."

'If straw and sticks don't appeal, I do have something in brick that might interest you.'

"It's not much, but we've made it our own living hell."

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

'I've relaxed, put my feet up - Now, where's that good book you promised me?'

'No Trespissing'

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

Nature Girl and the Four Elements.

The Moo-Walk

A chicken coop with a loudspeaker on the roof

Disued Lighting - Heating - Cooking.

Production in times of pandemic

'We made the last payment and we were burning the mortgage to celebrate.'

"This love seat stinks!"

"Looks like housing starts are up."

Fire Alarm

"And my spittoon will go right about there."

Rabbits on Pinterest

A dog locks a man out and sleeps in his bed.

"Another unpaid nightshift! Please tell me you at least secured the video rights?"

House with Damp Problem.