Humorous Cat Debates Gifts

"There he goes, filling their heads with ludicrous conspiracy theories about microchip implants and mass sterilisation programmes…"

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

'Sure, they have nine lives, but they spend eight of them asleep.'

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

'I can not get this game, the pieces all move like cats.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

'I hate surprises!'

"Each of my previous books had nine editions."

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

We all have our jobs to do here --- You guard against burglars and I'm the food critic.

101 uses of a dead cat: peg leg

Cat Desk Organizers: In, Out, Eat, Sleep.

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

"You resume states, 'My only good quality is I purr'. Could you go into that a little more?"

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.

101 uses of a dead cat: bagpipe

I tried thinking outside the box once. That was a big mistake!

"Allow Me"

'I'm telling you, he jumped!'

Inky marks his territory the new and improved way.

Cat Nightmares

"Occupied!"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Nerg and Ooma Invent the Wheel.