Humorous Business Buff Gifts

"The last thing we need now is to sit around with a hangdog look!"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

A fight in the Boardroom.

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

Spot the difference.

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"What's a debenture?"

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Any questions?"

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.