Humorists With A Soft Spot For Pups Gifts

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

Conversation between Dogs.

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

Good, but not Great Danes.

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

'He knows that when I eat like a hog, it's time for a jog.'

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

"You stop it, now!"

'What makes you say I spoil the cat?'

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'I tried to teach him to shake, but he'd rather do 'high fives'.'

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'

"Your offer to compromise has been rejected and your dog has been cast out."

Rex would soon discover the eerie similarity between a playful growl and a warning growl.

'Fluffy's biological clock went off today.'

Dogs at the vets - "What exactly does 'being seen to' mean?"

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."

'Like I was saying, Angus, I'm the master, you're the dog.'

'Tell you what. Let's corner a cat and play 'good dog - bad dog'.'

"He's my discomfort animal."

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

What if pets did housework...

'Well, I've heard that you are a genius at replacing prolapses, Doc.'

Mouse guillotining cats paws which come through his mouse hole

'Yeah, well, my guy idolizes me so much that he collects my poop in a bag and takes it home with him.'

Sorry Dear, until they put mice into tins you'll have to make do with chicken.

'They're flea bargaining.'