Dog Humorist Admirer Gifts

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"I was almost that last year."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"Now turn your head and bark."

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

"Yeah well, now that we're married, he's not making any effort: he hasn't been to a grooming appointment in months!"

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"Sometimes Bob wags when he's happy—but these days, it usually means he just tooted."

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

Dogs texting each other emojis

'Yeah, the carrot helps, but coffee is what gets me going in the morning...'

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

"Look, Mommy. Puppy already knows a trick! What should we call him?" "How about 'Scooter.'"

'The pats on the head are nice, but I need more compensation...'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse

"So the old man says 'you're getting fixed,' and I'm thinkin', you know, maybe he's gonna patch up the hole in my doghouse..."

Dog leaving operating theatre in a hurry with a bone in his mouth

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

"Thanks, Batman!"