Dog Humorist Admirer Gifts

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"I was almost that last year."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"Now turn your head and bark."

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

"Yeah well, now that we're married, he's not making any effort: he hasn't been to a grooming appointment in months!"

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

Dogs texting each other emojis

"Sometimes Bob wags when he's happy—but these days, it usually means he just tooted."

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

'Yeah, the carrot helps, but coffee is what gets me going in the morning...'

"Look, Mommy. Puppy already knows a trick! What should we call him?" "How about 'Scooter.'"

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

'The pats on the head are nice, but I need more compensation...'

No caption. (A cowboy heads toward the swinging doors of a saloon as a cat goes toward a smaller version of the same entrance).

For the last time, officer, I'm absolutely, positively sure it was number four.

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse

Select a song: Another Dog Barking. Lots of Other Dogs Barking. Howling. Siren. Doorbell. Dog Karaoke.

"So the old man says 'you're getting fixed,' and I'm thinkin', you know, maybe he's gonna patch up the hole in my doghouse..."

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

Dog leaving operating theatre in a hurry with a bone in his mouth