Humorist With A Historic Twist Pillows

I came, I saw, I partied!

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Apples for sale

Clown on bike.

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Vlad the Impala

"You're on a what?!"

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

It isn't widely known that Michelangelo was the first in a long line of cartoonists to buck the family tradition.

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

What's an Imax cave?

Sundial Time

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

The discovery of asparagus.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"Right here's fine."

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'