Humorist In Suits Gifts

"In this company the managers and workers see eye to eye...you just have to ask the caretaker for a ladder."

Golfing Boss

The Team

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Gee, thanks pal."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I must insist on my lawyer present."