Humorist In Suits Pillows

"In this company the managers and workers see eye to eye...you just have to ask the caretaker for a ladder."

Golfing Boss

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Gee, thanks pal."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I don't think the employees like me.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."