Humor-themed Events Pillows

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

Sitting in a tree

St. Patricks Day Shamrock Outfit

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

"Haven't you guys ever heard of masks?!"

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

'I'm pretty sure it's just plain old Tuesday. Bath towel Tuesday is next week.'

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

Comedy course highlights fake nose

"It turns out I was having an affair and I didn't even know it."

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

The Meeting Agenda: Start Simple

Peace Negotiator now available for Weddings, Funerals, Christenings, Barmitzvah

'They wouldn't let him graduate from obedience school - he bit the valedictorian.'

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

Clown

'What I wouldn't give for some good eczema medication!'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know where 'this is'. I, too, am a stranger here.'

"The fax machine ate my homework."

'I'm always on the edge of my Twickenham seat...I can't afford the full business debenture rate.'

Kim Jong Un Riding Nuclear Missile

Fancy dress party: "I'm afraid I've just come in my shorts."

'It reminds me of the Statue of Liberty. I see the tired, poor, and huddled masses.'

"... Yes. And I'm wearing a mask, so what's the problem?!"

Santa replaces reindeer with a mobility scooter.

'Great job! -- Take the rest of the day off!'

'I don't like the way your eyes light up when that nurse comes in!'

'It was George's first time on top of the bill.'

'Is this your son? We need to talk!'