Funny Social Gatherings Pillows

We met in a police line-up!

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

Can I give you a slice of the action?

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

The prying mantis,

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

The devil you know and his plus one

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

Glyndebourne

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Playing cards.

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

"You're doing fine - don't watch your feet."

When I said, "Let the good times roll," I didn't mean to let go of the keg.

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"Once you get over the three hundred and sixty eight texts it took to plan this, it really is nice to get together."

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

Shall I be mother?

"I rushed here from surgery. I didn't have time to get into costume."

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

"God help us, it's that guy."

"Damn it, Hopkins, didn't you get yesterday's memo?"

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"Oh, Lord! Not another wine-and-cheese party!"

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"