Humor-themed Events Gifts

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

Sitting in a tree

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

St. Patricks Day Shamrock Outfit

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

Ozzy Osbourne bites the head off a chocolate bunny at his easter concert.

'I'm pretty sure it's just plain old Tuesday. Bath towel Tuesday is next week.'

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

"Haven't you guys ever heard of masks?!"

Comedy course highlights fake nose

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

'Hey Dave, check out the kinky underwear this chick is taking on her trip!'

"It turns out I was having an affair and I didn't even know it."

The Meeting Agenda: Start Simple

Peace Negotiator now available for Weddings, Funerals, Christenings, Barmitzvah

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

'They wouldn't let him graduate from obedience school - he bit the valedictorian.'

'What I wouldn't give for some good eczema medication!'

Clown

"The fax machine ate my homework."

'I'm always on the edge of my Twickenham seat...I can't afford the full business debenture rate.'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know where 'this is'. I, too, am a stranger here.'

Kim Jong Un Riding Nuclear Missile

Fancy dress party: "I'm afraid I've just come in my shorts."

Santa replaces reindeer with a mobility scooter.

"... Yes. And I'm wearing a mask, so what's the problem?!"

'It reminds me of the Statue of Liberty. I see the tired, poor, and huddled masses.'

Royal Gym. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. And the body isn't in great shape either.

Stick in a Meeting...Unstuck in a Meeting

'Great job! -- Take the rest of the day off!'

'It was George's first time on top of the bill.'

'I don't like the way your eyes light up when that nurse comes in!'