Humor Nerd Gifts

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

'I found out what makes him tick - he'd swallowed a watch!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

Dancing with the Star Wars

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

Now Hiring. Artificial Intelligence & Research Lab. "Artificial Intelligence"? Great! I'd be a real asset to your project since I'm not as intelligent as I look!

Trainspotters a group of trainspotters outside a church taking down details of a Bride's wedding gown train

"Maybe Earth's primordial soup did contain polyester."

William Shakespeare

"How's this? Hot enough for you?"

Pavlov's dog eats Schrodinger's cat.

'These drinks have been watered down.'

Carpe diem

'Revolution? I thought you creatures said you wanted Evolution!'

You've lost an electron? Are you sure you're all right? I'm positive.

Frank and Ernest's Cerebral Questions. Today's question is would an "elbowhead" be smarter or dumber than a "knucklehead"? (Published originally on October 12, 2015.)

Shakespeare. I don't think you actually read the play. "Hamlet" is not about a small village.

Flytrap nerd.

"Here she is, the girl of my dreams! We're in love and we're going to get married! And she's made out of boxes!"

Social median

"Possessing both sexes, the Hypoplectrus gutavarius mates with another Hypoplectrus gutavarius, each switching roles after each encounter."

Nethead strip: Dates

"Hold on, I have an announcement. Facebook password Missywillow 555, please move your car or it will be towed."

"Your calculations are right- it's our teabreak!"

"For my profile I'll be talking about the science you...but what about the fun you?"

Don't you hate when you build a time machine, return from the future, and forget what you were going to warn everyone about?

"Wow, that was some fart!"

"I can't help being annoying. I'm a Pain-In-The Saurus."

Welcome to hell: wait here to be heated

'E-mailing Harold Pinter'

'A hacker named Goldilocks has entered our home page.'

Heisenberg Witness Protection Program