Nerd Humor Gifts

Nethead strip: Psycho analyst

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

Trainspotters a group of trainspotters outside a church taking down details of a Bride's wedding gown train

Now Hiring. Artificial Intelligence & Research Lab. "Artificial Intelligence"? Great! I'd be a real asset to your project since I'm not as intelligent as I look!

'Mom, I need a push.'

"How's this? Hot enough for you?"

Zika Epidemic

"Maybe Earth's primordial soup did contain polyester."

Pavlov's dog eats Schrodinger's cat.

'These drinks have been watered down.'

'I see dumb people wearing 'I see dumb people' shirts.'

You've lost an electron? Are you sure you're all right? I'm positive.

Frank and Ernest's Cerebral Questions. Today's question is would an "elbowhead" be smarter or dumber than a "knucklehead"? (Published originally on October 12, 2015.)

Flytrap nerd.

"These EHR formats are an indecipherable headache to try and wade through. I miss the old days when the doctor's writing was all we had to figure out."

Social median

"Your calculations are right- it's our teabreak!"

Horses are nervous animals. . .

"Possessing both sexes, the Hypoplectrus gutavarius mates with another Hypoplectrus gutavarius, each switching roles after each encounter."

Welcome to hell: wait here to be heated

"I can't help being annoying. I'm a Pain-In-The Saurus."

"Nine Months?? Can't you just download it?"

'I found out what makes him tick - he'd swallowed a watch!'

'It keeps sensing disturbances in the Force!'

'Every time I step on the scale Alexa uses my weight for the joke of the day.'

'You've got Chop Suey!'

'We all have trillions of bacteria in our intestines. That's no reason to do poorly in algebra.'

Heisenberg Witness Protection Program

Jenkins would often shout it from the rooftops - he was so proud of his work in IT.

"I've got an app that lets me know whenever a pretty woman has an interest in me. It must not be working."