Nerd Humorist Gifts

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"Maybe Earth's primordial soup did contain polyester."

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"She looks just like in your photos."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

Wait a minute…What operating system are you using?… Common techie question.

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

Advertising on the internet.

Twitter that!

Facebook For Dogs.

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"Google gets thousands of requests each day to erase links. Most of them seem to go back to my website."

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

"Just right click, save as, and now you own the complete works of William Shakespeare."

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

Now Hiring. Artificial Intelligence & Research Lab. "Artificial Intelligence"? Great! I'd be a real asset to your project since I'm not as intelligent as I look!

I've founded my own religion. Of course you have, Rudy. It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths. If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted. What are the central tenets of your religion? A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation.

Pi fight!

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

Trainspotters a group of trainspotters outside a church taking down details of a Bride's wedding gown train

"There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Lol. Winky face."

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"

'Don't throw the little silicon chips away -- we may find a use for them someday.'

Multiple personalities with blogs.

"This hilarious prank of yours is gonna go viral. This is a prank isn't it, Phil?"

You've got snail.

"How's this? Hot enough for you?"