Humor In Legal Drama Gifts

'Your Honour, I think I've got something that will satisfy you and the jury.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

Luke Skywalker- Matrimonial Law

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

"Another slander suit!"

'Way too much information on your resume.'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

Baby's first words.

"You don't have to answer that."

'Overruled, you may continue.'

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'Judge Mental.'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

I hate these he shed, she shed cases.

"In a surprising turn of events, the end testifies against the means."

"We the jury find that the murder was committed by Colonel Mustard, in the library, with the candlestick!"

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Esq.

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

'I will not have the species card played in my courtroom, Counselor.'

"We find the defendant 'guilty', …. not that there's anything wrong with that."