Humor In Lectures Gifts

Lecture on Chaos Theory delayed because the speaker dropped his notes.

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

"Look at her...Gracie is intelligent, optimistic, ambitious..I wish she was one more thing."

Smirking or Non-smirking

"Along with 'Antimatter,' and 'Dark Matter,' we've recently discovered the existence of 'Doesn't Matter,' which appears to have no effect on the universe whatsoever."

'Ann, you're the best graduate student I have, so I'm going to blame some faulty research on you.'

The Perpetual Motion (just a figure of speech) Institute.

"People...do you FINALLY understand the concept of 'Visual Narrative?'"

"...and that concludes your first lecture on anatomy."

'Please sir - all of them!'

'Oh look, I a flying saw sir.'

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

"It's amazing how much Junior has changed after only a few weeks away at college..."

"If you upgrade this to an 'A' I think I can get you an extra $10,000."

'As it's your first day Frobisher, I feel I should warn you that the pupils can be a bit of a handful!'

I will stop making two people who have nothing in common fall in love.

I Do Not have OCD

'Ready for your performance review?'

'Can I have a few minutes to defrag before I take the test?'

The assistant to the chair begins another busy day.

"I didn't bring an apple, so how about a fruit roll up?"

"Today we're going to learn to deal with rejection."

"We're not so different, you and I."

'...And that should cover all my rules for the class.'

"We're using analytics now for our teacher evaluations, and it seems your exit velocity at dismissal time is the highest in the school."

"This formula was a total flop, but on the bright side, it will make a great password!"

"I only talk down to your child because he's shorter than me."