Humor In Hard Hats Gifts

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

Soup of the Day.

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

Job Safety - Hardhat.

A baby using a heavy duty drill

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

'Your mom too? Always saying, 'You never do anything constructive.''

"I bark and I bark and I bark, and yet, somehow, I'm still unhappy."

'The reason I'm paid fifty times more is because I think I'm worth it.'

"Stan is one of our great, widely unread literary treasures."

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

"What's it like, working with your hands?"

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

"Lucky you were wearing your hard-hat!"

'Cyber mining for bitcoins again?'

"I was quite pleased to find a job which allows me to see more of my husband."

Construction in 2022

On this date: Overly enthused and attending an NHL game en masse, the National Parole Board exceeds its mandate.

Policeman charges tortoise for impersonation.

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of contracting are the hardest.'

Job Safety - Safety Goal.

Well, I told you to add yeast to your shampoo.

Oilfield worker eating fancy sundae from lunchbox.

"I think my hat hair is pretty bad, but I won't know how bad until spring."

Fears

I told the boss that I'm exhausted and can't continue. He was either insensitive or trying to be inspirational when he replied "dig deep."

"Young farmers are ALWAYS finding something to moan about, but 18 hours days in all conditions never did me any harm!"

"Leave your hat on, we're going straight to the shareholder's meeting."

'You'll be lucky to get the job done by Friday mate, the lintels haven't arrived yet, the measurement are all out, the timber's the wrong sort, I've got a hospital appointment to keep...'

Brickie's Mate

'Whatever you do,don't ask them about their holiday Down Under.'

Last investor in pyramid scheme

Plumbers. I said Ernie is a perfectionist, not a competent perfectionist!

"HATS...Us Mexicans are supposed to dance on our hats!"