Humor Hopefuls Pillows

'Maybe there's hope for Leonard yet...' says wife, looking at husband reading a book called 'When funny things happen to stodgy people.'

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

Piranhaclaus

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'Oh, crap.'

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

"It's probably just seasonal."

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

Shell Fire

'I'm an atheist!'

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

Now that we've developed lungs, it's only a matter of time before we feel guilty about not exercising.

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

Fishing Boat Derby

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

"Do you know Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?"

Easter Candy Island.

Beware of the Cat.

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."