Humor Hopefuls Pillows

'Maybe there's hope for Leonard yet...' says wife, looking at husband reading a book called 'When funny things happen to stodgy people.'

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

Piranhaclaus

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"It's probably just seasonal."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

'I'm an atheist!'

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

Shell Fire

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

Fishing Boat Derby

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

"Do you know Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?"

Beware of the Cat.

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."