High School Humorists Pillows

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

Welcome to algebra. As freshmen, you are the unknown variable X. After 32 years, I ask myself Y?

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

"A laser blaster turns pesky little boys into ferns! Now that would be a cool school supply."

Back to school: The Horror,

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

Mice taking lessons.

'By the second week of instruction all first-graders should be able to count to one.'

'That's o.k., Dugan - 'why do I even bother?' was a rhetorical question.'