High School Humor Aficionado Pillows

'Don't worry about my old boyfriend. I just sent him a 'Dear John' text message.'

'Hmph. College kids.'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

"Oh well, if you really want to see some scary chest thumping, come with me now and I'll show my school report to my dad..."

Billy strip: help with homework.

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

'Is it okay if I'm represented by counsel on open-school night?'

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student