Bright Humor Seeker Pillows

A balloon vendor hands a child his only 'good' face out of many,less than desireable faces.

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

Piranhaclaus

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'Oh, crap.'

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"It's probably just seasonal."

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

Family members!

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

Shell Fire

"Static cling."

'I'm an atheist!'

Unicorn Working From Home

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

Now that we've developed lungs, it's only a matter of time before we feel guilty about not exercising.

"Do you know Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?"