Humor Harvester Gifts

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

'The circle is complete!'

'A cheeky red?'

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

'Bert's dog training.'

The height of fashion in 1796

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

M.T. accidentally triggers the predator pursuit response.

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

'Those bears are so cute I wish we could have brought them home.'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'