Humor Handler Pillows

'...Because its easy to draw.'

"I don't want it to look like I don't appreciate your qualifications and experience, but you're talking a lot of crap."

"My exercise routine appears to be working as long as I hang around fat people."

"You want to know what kind of criticism of Israeli politics I consider anti-semitic?"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

Larry's used art

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Copycats

Grace For Flies

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Why do they do that?"

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

I will study my speling words...

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.