Horse Handler Humor Pillows

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

"She got a brand new whip for her birthday."

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

Park statues horse and rider.

EAT HAY LOVE One Horse's Search for Everything

'...Because its easy to draw.'

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

"I don't want it to look like I don't appreciate your qualifications and experience, but you're talking a lot of crap."

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

"Sure he's handsome. . . But I've heard he's hung like a human."

Riding School: Horse eating a compendium.

"You want to know what kind of criticism of Israeli politics I consider anti-semitic?"

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

And balance with practice.

"My exercise routine appears to be working as long as I hang around fat people."

"Ask me about my long face."

Bit on the Side

Don't look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

Horse selling second hand shoes as lucky charms.

'The holes in this hay net are getting smaller! What are you trying to say buddy?!'

'Best let them know there's a couple of loose horses at the fourth!'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. VIII

'Louder, Doctor! I can't make out what you're saying.'

'Do you think your owner will get that you're not in the mood to leave the field today?'

'Those stretching exercises you have been practicing are really working!'

"You can lead me to water but you can't make me drink, unless it has added food coloring and sweeteners."