Humor For Hound Handlers Pillows

Dog jumping out of limo

Skeleton playing fetch.

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

'Are we nearly there yet?'

No Soliciting

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

Cat and mouse.

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

'I hate surprises!'

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

"Not sure if I'm hungry or bored."

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

Beware of dog...poop.

'...Because its easy to draw.'

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

Goldie playing chess. Check.

"I don't want it to look like I don't appreciate your qualifications and experience, but you're talking a lot of crap."

"Go on. Throw the stick."

'He's paralysed from the neck down.'

"You want to know what kind of criticism of Israeli politics I consider anti-semitic?"

Dog sees venus fly trap catch a fly and copies it...

'What's my fortune then?!

"Absolutely perfect! How did you know?"

"So the vet says, 'If this is my thermometer, then where's my pen?' . . . Get it!? . . . IS this thing on!?"

"Darling, this dog food is delicious!"

"My exercise routine appears to be working as long as I hang around fat people."

"You will be going on a long walk."

The New York Review of Weather.

'But you're a dog! How can you know how to read?!?'

Although Bowser did seem to understand the concept of being house-trained.....

'I sentence you to nine consecutive life terms.'