Humane Economist Gifts

'They're not our 'profits,' Mike. We like to think of them as the organic by-products of non-toxic capitalism!'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Bookshop: Unpopular Economics

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

Trickledown economics

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

Office of economic forecasting.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'We buy and sell them.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

'Stocks rose on news that 'green' - the color of money - is considered environmentally friendly.'

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

'I suppose if we had some money we could buy sand from each other.'

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

"Harold finds painting very therapeutic."

Government Handouts.

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

Investments: Still Open to New Investors - 'A fool & his money fund.'

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.