Humane Economist Gifts

'They're not our 'profits,' Mike. We like to think of them as the organic by-products of non-toxic capitalism!'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

Bookshop: Unpopular Economics

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

Trickledown economics

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

Office of economic forecasting.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'We buy and sell them.'

'Stocks rose on news that 'green' - the color of money - is considered environmentally friendly.'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'I suppose if we had some money we could buy sand from each other.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

"Harold finds painting very therapeutic."

Investments: Still Open to New Investors - 'A fool & his money fund.'

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

Government Handouts.