Human-like Pet Enthusiast Gifts

'He's almost human.'

"Pick me!"

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Canine Companion

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

" 'Grrr' is not a word."

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Love Conquers All

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Couple sitting in living room reading books while dog reads a book with a cat shaped cover.

"He's already getting attached to you."

"Did you get my tweet?"

Pets.

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

Tamagotchi paralysis.

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

Author's Bio-diversity.

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"The old tricks, young fellow, have served me well."

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."