Housework Jokesters Pillows

'This contains Fred's ashes - I was determined to make sure he'd remain useful around the house!'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

Onion operation.

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

How to Build a Bungalow

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

'I wish you'd make those meatballs a little lighter; they hurt!'

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

"It's not much, but we've made it our own living hell."

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

"Oh, how nice. You're just in time to cut the vegetables,"

'That must be the termite inspector.'

"So I said 'Would it kill you to do a little yardwork?'"

'That's not what I meant when I asked you to add a second bathroom, Roger.'

'Have a nice day, dear. . . no need to get up and make coffee.'

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

'No-one else would brag about being on Rogue Traders.'

"The trick to this particular dish is not letting your mother mess it up."

'Just because you fell in love on company time is no reason why the company has to give you time off to get married on.'

'I just find it interesting. You remember everything except where your dirty clothes go.'

'I forgot to close the door?...Seriously? Who puts a door on a hole?'