Housewarming Party T-Shirts

'Next time, no house warming.'

"Better late than never, eh, Herb?"

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

"Don't get the wrong idea, but I think I should tell you that all my furnishings are from Ikea."

"Quick! Get outta there! They're home!"

Documentation Please

Another Disappointing Party at the Playbill Mansion

The Mortons: It's all about our money.

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Tartine

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Wine Lady

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

The Henderson's move to a vertical city took some getting used to.

Biofelineism

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"I didn't spark joy."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."