Housewarming Party T-Shirts

'Next time, no house warming.'

"Better late than never, eh, Herb?"

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

"Don't get the wrong idea, but I think I should tell you that all my furnishings are from Ikea."

"Quick! Get outta there! They're home!"

Documentation Please

Another Disappointing Party at the Playbill Mansion

The Mortons: It's all about our money.

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Tartine

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Wine Lady

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'