Housewarming Hero T-Shirts

"We worked on this place for years – a real labor of love."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Tartine

Come dine with me!

"Ironically, this is the living room."

Domestic Superheroes!!

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

The Henderson's move to a vertical city took some getting used to.

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"I didn't spark joy."

Biofelineism

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

Second hand furniture.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."