Household Safety Pillows

'Goodnight honey... did you remember to unplug the baby?'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

"Here's your sweater back."

'Throw it out. . . we never use it, unless you can think of someone that might need it.'

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

Santa hosing the Chimney.

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

'New normal' family life

'I know the fire's in the kitchen, but that program just irks the hell out of me.'

"Maybe this is insignificant, what with everything going on in the world, but do we have a fire extinguisher?"

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? What, seriously? You mean you haven't installed personal security cameras?"

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

"Which area of the house is the most dangerous? A. Your wet bathroom, B. Your dirty kitchen, or C. Your cluttered garage?"

"They're only dummy home security signs, but I've sharped the edges so they'll cut you like a razor."

"Can you hold on a sec? I need to check on Timmy."

"Honey, your radon testing kit is here."

"Did we turn off the stove?"

'I lost him in the house, but don't worry, a snake that big should be easy to find.'

'Well those stair gates were a complete waste of money'

'Is your house baby-proofed?'

'I told you he was smart. He turned a potential hazard into a plaything.'

"We have so many security cameras, the doormat says 'Say cheese' instead of welcome."

'It doesn't get nearly enough sun here, but it sure keeps the kids from sliding down the bannister.'

Beware of Dogs